Louise Carder BSc, nutritional practitioner
To parent, or not to parent?
I wasn’t a particularly maternal person in my 20’s. I never felt broody, I didn’t rush to put my coffee cup down when there was the chance to hold a friend’s new baby. In short, I didn’t have an overwhelming desire to become a mother myself. So, when I met my husband and found out he had an 18 month old boy, I was frankly terrified! I didn’t have 9 months to prepare for becoming a mother, I became one exactly 5 months after our first date! That was the point at which I moved in, and the birth that came from this was a new me being born.
After 6 months of being together I was sufficiently versed in all aspects of toddler-dom and found myself having stirring feelings that I began to recognise as broodiness. I wanted a baby! We all wanted a baby!
To parent! If possible
So we started trying… and trying… and trying…. At first, it’s like being part of a secret club: you’re trying for a baby together and no-one else knows. It pulls you together, and the intimacy of trying and of planning is like nothing else. But after a few months, you can start to pull apart, unsure about what is happening, and perhaps becoming distrustful and doubtful. For the vast majority of women this doesn’t happen and a baby soon arrives, but for around 25% of women things are not quite so straight forward, and for an even smaller percentage it is an entirely different story all together.
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